Posts Tagged ‘ imperfection ’

picturing BURSTING WITH GRATITUDE

gratitude

Bursting. I am bursting with gratitude right now. As Thanksgiving approaches, I am reminded of all of the things that I am grateful for. A wonderful partner and puppy. Close family and friends. Health. Meaningful work.  Creative outlets. Also, I have some (very) exciting news…a new creative opportunity has recently opened my soul. It has made me feel both joyful and vulnerable at the same time. You know the old saying that “if you build it, they will come?” Well, I’m feeling like “if you picture it…who knows what will happen?” Over the past few months, I have been moving toward a more creative me. Carving out some time for work, play, and rest. Buying a dSLR and compact macro lens. Taking a couple of photography classes. Posting one new picture on my blog each day. I am enormously grateful for those of you who have been reading my blog. Thank you. Thanks to those of you who read and comment regularly and thank you to those of you who just check it out sporadically — just when you need a quiet moment to focus on something other than the hassles of everyday life.I feel like these small movements toward creativity have a way of turning into bigger opportunities. You take one small step and the universe leaps forward.It turns out that I am going to get the opportunity to display my photographs – yes, you heard me, SHOW MY WORK!!!! (bursting may be an understatement). I will be showing my photographs, along with the poetic photographer (and my very dear friend), Meghan Davidson of Life Refocused, at the Lincoln Community Playhouse during their upcoming show in January (thanks to another dear friend, Jenni). We even get to host an opening on January 21 (please let me know if you are interested in coming to Lincoln that weekend — it would be great to have you here — the more the merrier).This opportunity makes me giddy and nervous at the same time. The sense of sharing and possibility makes my heart grow bigger. Nervousness (what will people think? is it too soon? what photos should I choose?) has made my heart contract just a bit. However, I’m choosing to focus on possibility, not perfection. Being open, not closed. My heart over my mind. Acceptance, not evaluation. Love.
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picturing FORGIVENESS

self forgiveness

We are often reminded of the importance of forgiving others. When we fail to forgive and harbor resentment, we usually only hurt ourselves (though we often feel self-righteous certainty that we alone were right. And sometimes we are right, but we certainly don’t hurt the other person — at all — by holding onto negative feelings).

However, I think it is much harder to practice self-forgiveness. Once we give up the illusion that we can (or want) to be perfect, we are going to have to come to terms with the fact that we aren’t perfect and that can be OK. In fact, we are going to mess up…sometimes we are going to mess up royally (at least I have anyway). Or at the very least, we are going to piss other people off because we aren’t going around with our usual people-pleasing antics.

In her book, the Gifts of Imperfection, Brene Brown talks about a related concept of self-compassion and the gifts that forgiveness and compassion of the self can bring us on daily basis. I’m trying to keep them in mind.

Self-kindness: Being understanding rather than critical when we fail or feel inadequate.

Common humanity: Recognizing that feelings of failure or inadequacy are common to everyone and in fact can be the key to connecting with others.

Mindfulness: Staying in the present moment and neither minimizing nor exaggerating our current feelings about the situation.

I don’t think that it is a coincidence that I got this stone from a friend (thank you Ms. Moser)…  I think it can be hard to have the guts to practice self-forgiveness unless we get permission from someone else. Today, I hope to pass that gift onto you — forgive yourself — whether it be for a small or large transgression. By doing so, you give others permission to do the same.

picturing THE PERFECT PROTEST

Brene Brown’s blog on ordinary courage is amazing. I love her idea that being our best selves involves cultivating the courage to be vulnerable, authentic, and imperfect. By giving myself permission to not be perfect as a “beginner” at blogging and photography, I decided to join Brene in her Perfect Protest in honor of her upcoming book, The Gifts of Imperfection.

picturing BEGINNINGS

beginnings

be.gin.ner (noun) – a person who is new to or inexperienced in a certain task, situation.

It’s been a long time since I let myself be a beginner at anything. Don’t get me wrong. I love trying new things: traveling to new places, learning new skills, taking on new challenges. Beginnings make me feel energized, hopeful, alive. However, being a beginner — new to or inexperienced at anything — makes me a bit (by which I mean, very) uncomfortable. And this has certainly been the case with both photography and blogging.

I’ve been thinking about starting a photoblog for a while now. Well, wait. Let me start at the beginning. For the past year, I’ve been trying to create balance in my life by intentionally finding time each day to work, play, and rest. One of the ways I created time for play was by enrolling in a 9-week photography class. In the course, we completed a series of technical exercises (e.g., hyperfocal focus, shallow depth of field), in which we shot the equivalent of a roll of film (all of us were using digital SLRs) — 36 photos — each week. We then printed our photos with no corrections and presented our 8 “best” to the class. The photography class was a lot of things — it was a great place to connect with a photography community in Lincoln, it was an excellent resource for learning how to use my new Canon EOS Rebel t2i, and it helped me to begin to figure out what my own unique photo style might be. But, more than anything…it was just plain FUN! I loved taking, printing, and sharing my pictures.

When I asked, what next? My soul whispered…hmm…a photoblog might be kind of fun. I’ve found that if I even take a small step toward creativity — acknowledging a small creative dream, for example — the universe often responds with a little prompting of its own. In this case, my creative sister-in-law, Brady Gervais, writer, runner, and non-profit extraordinaire, mentioned in passing that maybe I should start a Photoblog.  My spirit entertained the possibility for about 2 seconds, but then my beginner’s doubts crept in.

You are not a good enough. No one’s going to want to look at your photographs or read your thoughts about photography, my inner perfectionist said.

You don’t have enough time to start a blog, (especially if you want to get tenure), my inner workaholic chimed in.

Anything you create won’t be original — there are other people in your life who have been doing this a lot longer. There’s no room for another photographer and if you try, you’re going to look like a fool, my impatient social comparison fiend added.

Yet, I wondered, what if. What if I embrace my beginner’s status? What if everything didn’t have to be perfect? What if I committed only small chunks of time each day? What if I could connect with other like-minded people at all stages of their creative journey and we could help each other?

I keep coming back to the fact that taking and sharing my pictures makes me more mindful. When I’m taking pictures, I’m in the moment. I’m not thinking of the dishes that need to be done or the manuscript that needs to be submitted. It gives me perspective. Most of my favorite photos are of ordinary objects that picture an extraordinary meaning to me because of their fresh perspectives. Finally, I’m finding creative communion, by sharing my photography and creativity with fellow creative spirits.

So, where do we go from here? I will be sharing one of my photographs each day and one longer blog post each week. Most of the photos will be new (i.e., taken that day), but I will also revisit some older ones because, as my photographer teachers says, sometimes you need to sit with a photograph for a while as it reveals its many layers. Most importantly, I will be embracing my beginner status. I’m giving myself permission to be a beginner in every regard — I don’t have to have it all figured out yet, I will make mistakes (probably some big ones), I can try new things simply because it sounds like a little fun. I already see curves in the road ahead, but I’m going to focus on each step, each moment, each day and have faith that the path will be presented to me.